For me, there have always been two worlds. From the smallest child through until this moment now, I have lived within these two worlds. One I did not fit into so much, and the other, I fitted into very much, although this one seemed to move forwards and backwards in my awareness regularly, as the other world (the one I did not so easily fit into) was far more in my face.
Throughout my journey within these two worlds, I have come to realise so much about the ‘why’ of them, and how they co-exist together.
The world that appears more real, the one in my face, is not the real one at all, it is the one that faces me … as it draws me outwards into it. It can be so enticing as it tempts me with experiences to fill my mind with excitement, however, there are other kinds of experiences that drop me into heaviness, dullness, and feelings of aloneness, and these experiences seem to prevail, much of the time.
The more subtle world is in my heart and draws me into it when I am feeling soft, quiet, gentle and open, and I dearly love being in this world, for I feel I belong here, and, unlike the other world that feels too me to be a rough, barrier laden reality with pitfalls and sharp edges, my inner world is smooth and flowing and I expand so fully within it, that I feel a permanent smile alive and present in my Beingness when I am in this world.
I cannot ever remember a time when I did not have my awareness of both worlds and in these later years have come to realise that the ‘in my face’ one is overlaying the heart-centred one in a very unnatural way.
It is a gift of my own awareness that I realise this ‘overlaying’ of one world on another because it shows me clearly the truth of what I am in, and how I am currently experiencing myself, and it comes down to my choices now that I clearly see how this reality is set up.
I do not choose the mind-constructed world, at all.
I do not choose to push against it either, in my wish to move it from my awareness, for pushing against it gives it more strength over me. It is very cleverly constructed to feed my mind with images of who I am, in that world. Images that are so far from my deepest truth, however, until I understood this, I did push against that world and who I thought I was, not liking those images at all.
In that false world, I was never enough. I pushed and I resisted, and I doubted myself always… this is the inner battle that ensues as false ideas grow in us, that keep us travelling within that imagery, believing it to be real, and often never knowing the true world, that sits fully within our body/heart awareness.
I am lucky to a degree (if one can call it luck, to walk both worlds, feeling very separate from most others because of this), however, I lived within both worlds and therefore knew eventually that it was purely down to me to make the choice. Do I stay with my mind, my thoughts and the beliefs that create the world of images that feel so real? Or do I commit to my body, and my heart and move deeper into that world where I feel like I swim within a flow so beautiful that I have no doubt of the truth of who I am?
In the ‘mind’ world, I am more easily accepted by those around me, I am with them, part of the much larger crowd. I am seen as ‘normal’, for I am seen as the same as them, and I am accepted for the image that they see as me.
In the ‘body/heart’ world, I am way more separated from most others, many of whom are my birth family. I am often seen as bizarre, strange, or crazy, because of my deeper knowing that for those others, there is not even a flicker of light within their awareness yet. Therefore, there is little to no common ground for our connection.
It will not surprise many of you who know me that I chose my body/heart awareness world some time ago. This commitment has taken me even deeper into my truth and of course, further from the reach of that surface world of mind imagery, false beliefs, ideas and perceptions that the mind uses to keep us looping in patterns of emotional behaviours that never get us close to knowing our true nature.
The world of mind imagery is not to be confused with our deep vision or imagination either. These parts of us are found in our Quantum Mind, which is a powerful part of the Being that we truly are, but that is another whole topic. Also, do not get confused over emotional behaviours and emotional intelligence, for one is old-world patterning and the other is part of the true Being we are!
The imagery I talk about within the world of the mind is found within those stories the mind creates constantly, where it takes pieces of memory and serves up the doubt, the guilt, the resentments, the judgements and where, in a moment it can arrive with self-sabotaging beliefs to try and keep us small and contained within low self-worth.
All of this is so ‘old world’ now, and the growing number of us that are understanding this, are supporting the changes within this reality, where the overlaying world is rapidly dissolving.
Through our deepening realisations, we are doing the inner cleansing that is dissolving all those stories, all those memories, all those beliefs and ideas that have kept us small, kept us contained within that false surface world of the mind, and this ‘lightens’ our vibration, deepens us into the real world within us, and the further in we go, the further out we expand, thus lightening and lighting up our world, supporting the dissolving of that overlay and the rising of human consciousness here on the planet.
We are being invited now to turn our focus inwards to ourselves and take that deepest of views of all that we hold within our body, and our heart space, and grow our trust in ourselves! There is only one authority here and that is found within our inner world, that authority is our SELF!
What I share here is not make-believe for me. It is not one of the mind's stories, it is very real. It is my reality that I am accepting, immersing in, and Being, on ever-deepening levels, every day. I cannot deny the feeling of myself within my body/heart world and the pure joy that floods me when I am swimming within that flow, and even right now sharing this with you, I find myself smiling.
And on this property where I am so blessed to be living in this time, there are Kereru who presented to me as ‘The Messengers’ from the first moment 2.5 years ago when I arrived here. One or more come whenever I am in conversation with myself or another and there is deep truth being shared. Their appearance stops me/us, and the moment is given for reflection on what is being shared! The invitation is to become fully present in that moment to feel the flow that is being spoken or felt. At this moment as I write this, two beautiful Kereru have arrived to sit in the tree outside my office.
Hand on Heart, I am so blessed.
My inner world shows me that all life is about Love ... and the Oneness of everything that grows within Love.
There is no part of me that wishes to experience myself in that outer world of duality. I have done my time learning who I am in those experiences where pure love was obviously absent.
Love is the blooming flower within me, the most beautifully scented, divinely coloured, purest vibrational sacred flower that grows through the landscape of every heart here. In using our REAL EYES, our gaze settles on this flower and love births through the illusion of a mind-filled world.